Question

[Optimus]

Question:

What is a b*****d exactly?

Quite often we ask ourselves hard to answer questions, like, "What is a b*****d?“

And we wax philosophic with metaphysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms and inconsistent sophisms that make one more and more sure that the one of the few truisms in life is that a picture is worth a thousand words.

In the photo following, the guy on the right is a member of a bomb squad in the middle of a deactivation.
The guy behind him, well, he's a b*****d.

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http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w49/dazzer_UK/btard.jpg

:celb (15)::celb (15)::celb (15):

[Vix's Lady]

LMAO beltin :lmao::lmao::lmao::wave1:

[Columbo]

:big_grin: remind me of one where there's a Polar Bear creeping up on a penguin... and another PB stood behind with cymbals... or was it 2 Penguins and a Polar Bear?

Anyone remember or have the pic?

N.

[Columbo]

Aha - found it!

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/penguin.jpg

:big_smile:

N.

[scorpion]

Whats that he's got in his hand ? His dinner from mcdonalds?

[Columbo]

Nah... it's doughnuts I reckon - that photo were taken on the beach at Southport!

:big_smile:

N.

[Cerridwen]

pmsl..

[Columbo]

pmsl..


Oh yes... this thread's a positive diuretic - there's the proof!

Now for Gawd's sake woman - get a mop!!!

:big_smile:

N.

[Vix's Lady]

pmsl..


Oh yes... this thread's a positive diuretic - there's the proof!

Now for Gawd's sake woman - get a mop!!!

:big_smile:

N.


ROFLMAO :lmao::lmao::wave1:

[Columbo]

By heck - if this is what I'm like when I've getten the flu, I'd love to see how funny I am when I'm recovered!

Please folks... no more applause - just give me email addresses and I'll tell ye where you can put money into my 'Paypal' account!

What's that Toto? Kansas? Fook that... I'm on a roll here - tell them Munchins to start breakdancing, the caffeine in them 'DayNurse' capsules are kicking in!

Keep it real... or as real as my fevered Willy Wonka-like pseudo-reality will allow for now.

Golden ticket? I've sh*t 'em!

:big_smile:

N.

[Vix's Lady]

By heck - if this is what I'm like when I've getten the flu, I'd love to see how funny I am when I'm recovered!

Please folks... no more applause - just give me email addresses and I'll tell ye where you can put money into my 'Paypal' account!

What's that Toto? Kansas? Fook that... I'm on a roll here - tell them Munchins to start breakdancing, the caffeine in them 'DayNurse' capsules are kicking in!

Keep it real... or as real as my fevered Willy Wonka-like pseudo-reality will allow for now.

Golden ticket? I've sh*t 'em!

:big_smile:

N.


we are in a sarky mood tonight not feeling well LOL :lmao::lmao::wave1:

[Columbo]

"What's a Munchin" they asked?

Well, says I... it's like a munchkin, only eyting it's tay!

By heck, I'm rum eh?

:big_smile:

Way to cover up a spelling mistake eh?

N.

[Columbo]

By heck - if this is what I'm like when I've getten the flu, I'd love to see how funny I am when I'm recovered!

Please folks... no more applause - just give me email addresses and I'll tell ye where you can put money into my 'Paypal' account!

What's that Toto? Kansas? Fook that... I'm on a roll here - tell them Munchins to start breakdancing, the caffeine in them 'DayNurse' capsules are kicking in!

Keep it real... or as real as my fevered Willy Wonka-like pseudo-reality will allow for now.

Golden ticket? I've sh*t 'em!

:big_smile:

N.


we are in a sarky mood tonight not feeling well LOL :lmao::lmao::wave1:


Sarky? Me? Never... just me head's all over the place and I'm trying to fuel it into 'wit' here... and failing...

Well, I'm not like Coleridge... I don't use opium...
Nor like Clapton.. don't do drugs...
Nor like Dudley Moore - don't do alcohol...
Nor Alan Bennett... I don't do Rich Tea!

What I DO do is pizza... but I'm too rough to go out for one and for some reason they don't deliver here in 'bumpkinland' Westhoughton from Pizza Hut at Reebok or Leigh!!! And 'too far to deliver from Manhattan Pizza on Wigan Lane...

But I've sussed it... I've done a drawing of a pizza, and I keep staring at that and laughing uncontrollable... Mrs. Columbo and the dogs are sat in the other room looking worried, but I KNOW that I'm allright.

Right... I'm off for a pee as soon as the floor keeps still!

Flu?

Nah... this is my mind taking over your reality watch this space!

:big_smile:

N.

P.S. Psst - I am 'feverish' but all the above is just me '*rsing around' - so don't plan on me going crackers just yet!

[Vix's Lady]

Sarky? Me? Never... just me head's all over the place and I'm trying to fuel it into 'wit' here... and failing...

Well, I'm not like Coleridge... I don't use opium...
Nor like Clapton.. don't do drugs...
Nor like Dudley Moore - don't do alcohol...
Nor Alan Bennett... I don't do Rich Tea!

What I DO do is pizza... but I'm too rough to go out for one and for some reason they don't deliver here in 'bumpkinland' Westhoughton from Pizza Hut at Reebok or Leigh!!! And 'too far to deliver from Manhattan Pizza on Wigan Lane...

But I've sussed it... I've done a drawing of a pizza, and I keep staring at that and laughing uncontrollable... Mrs. Columbo and the dogs are sat in the other room looking worried, but I KNOW that I'm allright.

Right... I'm off for a pee as soon as the floor keeps still!

Flu?

Nah... this is my mind taking over your reality watch this space!

:big_smile:

N.

P.S. Psst - I am 'feverish' but all the above is just me '*rsing around' - so don't plan on me going crackers just yet!


its just a cold all men think they have flu when its just a cold LOL :lmao::lmao::lmao:

[Columbo]

Ahem... let's not start that ye cheeky beggar - ye forget I'm MEDICAL (well, sort of).

I'm clammy... I'm sweating like fook yet have the door open... I'm taking on extra fluids and feel nauseous AND... now you've asked for it.. I'm gerrinup loads of 'green productive phlegm and mucous'... so it's a wee bit more than a ruddy snurch and a sniffle.

Now the idiocy? It's been oming and going for a bit... daft me not gone to the GP - but I'll DEF. go tomorrow... amongst all these feckin' halfbreeds up here with their corn dollies and leeches and posies!

By heck, I wish I were back in Wigan with folk of me own kind... where if you've getten more than three teeth you aren't branded as a 'tourist'... and where you're not the 'odd one out' for not having webbed toes and six fingers!

:big_smile:

N.

[Vix's Lady]

Ahem... let's not start that ye cheeky beggar - ye forget I'm MEDICAL (well, sort of).

I'm clammy... I'm sweating like fook yet have the door open... I'm taking on extra fluids and feel nauseous AND... now you've asked for it.. I'm gerrinup loads of 'green productive phlegm and mucous'... so it's a wee bit more than a ruddy snurch and a sniffle.

Now the idiocy? It's been oming and going for a bit... daft me not gone to the GP - but I'll DEF. go tomorrow... amongst all these feckin' halfbreeds up here with their corn dollies and leeches and posies!

By heck, I wish I were back in Wigan with folk of me own kind... where if you've getten more than three teeth you aren't branded as a 'tourist'... and where you're not the 'odd one out' for not having webbed toes and six fingers!



:big_smile:

N.


might be the St Helens plague :lmao::lmao::wave1:

[Columbo]

AND... I'm that rough, I can't even spell 'mucus' properly... or is it 'Mew-cuss'?

Oh I don't know - where's me Nursing Dictionary?

:big_smile:

N.

[Columbo]

Here... the 'halfbreeds' I refer to are not St. Helens - they're a gradely bunch...

Nah, I'm referring to 'Summerisle' a.k.a. Westhoughton...cowyeds, and 'Sit Thee Deawn' stuff... as soon as I get me ruddy passport back, I'm out of this place - they can keep their 'quaint ways' and ruddy ubiquitous snails!

:big_smile:

N.

[Vix's Lady]

so why go there in the first place LOL :celb (9)::celb (9)::wave1:

[Columbo]

Well... it looked nice!

Erm... I think that were it really... but we are DEFINITELY looking to move back to Wigan... wer'e in 'rented' so no major ties here... and with some of my acidic rants and comments as to the place,they'll be coming up the drive any minute with laming torches and pitchforks!

Nah... we're peed off here... to have a decent walk with the dogs, you have to go out in the car... a nearby school means that traffic is sh*t and the front is full of daft moos and their bovine offspring... there's no decent chippy... the nearby pub makes the King Billy look positively charming and rustic... the rain's wetter, and now we're getting mithered with ants... and these b*ggers are vicious and nip wi' a Bolton accent... not like Wigan ants who ask how you are before they have a bite!

:big_smile:

N.

[Vix's Lady]

Well... it looked nice!

Erm... I think that were it really... but we are DEFINITELY looking to move back to Wigan... wer'e in 'rented' so no major ties here... and with some of my acidic rants and comments as to the place,they'll be coming up the drive any minute with laming torches and pitchforks!

Nah... we're peed off here... to have a decent walk with the dogs, you have to go out in the car... a nearby school means that traffic is sh*t and the front is full of daft moos and their bovine offspring... there's no decent chippy... the nearby pub makes the King Billy look positively charming and rustic... the rain's wetter, and now we're getting mithered with ants... and these b*ggers are vicious and nip wi' a Bolton accent... not like Wigan ants who ask how you are before they have a bite!

:big_smile:

N.


get yerself home then lad :lmao::lmao::wave1:

[Columbo]

We will as soon as we find a decent house we like!

Until then... disregard me slurs about the folk here... I'd best keep me head down!

Overcoat, trilby and false moustache next time we go out... and that's just the dogs - not got my disguise planned yet!

:big_smile:

N.